When Community Becomes a Funnel: Why So Many Women Feel Burned by “Access-Based” Memberships

Community

1 Jan

Have you ever joined a business membership community because it felt like the missing piece?

Like maybe this time it would be different.
This time you’d feel supported.
This time you’d feel less alone.

The promise is always some version of the same thing. “Join my community and you’ll get access to events, support, connections, and access to me as the founder.”

And at first, it feels bloody great.

You feel seen, hopeful, and you think, finally, I’ve found my people.

Then slowly, you start to notice that the community isn’t really a community after all. It’s a funnel, and you’re the product.

You’re not known, you fade into the background and get lost in the crowd. You’re not prioritised as a member, you’re just another number on a spreadsheet. Another person being nudged towards the next thing the founder is actually selling.

And that’s where it starts to feel a bit gross.

Access-based memberships are built on this idea that if you just give people more, they’ll stay. More resources, more calls, more guest experts, more access.

But more access doesn’t create connection, and for most of us, more just becomes overwhelming.

A founder can’t realistically provide constant access to themselves while also doing the huge amount of behind-the-scenes work it actually takes to grow and nurture a thriving community and actively connect its members. And that part often gets left to the members to figure out themselves. (You’d be surprised how much work goes into building a real community.)

What usually happens is this:

You join. You’re excited. You show up once or twice. You try to keep up.

Then you realise there’s no real structure, no consistency, no real relationships forming, no sense of momentum or growth in your business. Just “access”, resources, and a space that slowly becomes another thing on your to-do list.

And yet, despite being surrounded by hundreds of people, you still feel lonely 😔

No one who actually knows you or your business, it’s just people being visible for the sake of it. A bit like when you worked in corporate and there was always that one loud person in meetings saying everything and nothing at the same time just to be noticed. It’s boring. It’s unhelpful. And if you’re a quieter, more introverted person, it’s exhausting.

The whole point of joining a community is to feel less alone, to feel seen and like someone has your back.

When a community becomes a funnel for the founder’s main business, when it exists mainly to warm you up for coaching programmes, courses, books, or big-ticket events, it stops being a community and becomes a marketing tool.

And marketing tools aren’t built to support you, they’re built to sell.

So even if the person running it is lovely, even if they started with good intentions, the experience can still leave you feeling flat or, worse, misled.

What we’ve heard from women in business is that they don’t actually want more access or endless learning. They want belonging.

They want to be recognised and remembered.
They want conversations that go deeper than surface-level intros.
They want a safe place to talk honestly about what’s hard and what’s working.
They want consistency and shared experiences.
They want to be known by name, not by their username.
They want a space where they’re not constantly being sold to.

So why do women keep joining these types of memberships?

Because the promise is super tempting, especially when you’re tired, overwhelmed, and trying to build something on your own. Especially when the founder is highly visible online and looks successful. It feels safe to trust them.

Until you realise it wasn’t community at all. It was just very good marketing.

And I know not every membership is bad. Not every community is fake. Some memberships that offer access to the founder are genuinely great. Heck, I’ve been a part of some fantastic ones over the years.

But I hear stories constantly from women inside Pink Coral and from women who come to our events, and so many of them have been burned by membership communities that promised connection and delivered very little of it.

Community should be built for the members to succeed together, not for the founder to be the only one seeing all the opportunities.

Commitment isn’t bad. Memberships aren’t bad. In fact, most business owners only start to see the growth they’re looking for when they commit to a group that’s designed to connect them, promote them, and actively create opportunities for them. That’s exactly where Pink Coral comes in.

Before you join anything new, it’s worth asking one simple question. Is this about connection or keeping you watching, joining, and buying?

Because if it’s the second one, you’re not joining a community, you’re stepping into a funnel.

I’m Nikki, founder of Pink Coral.

The difference here is this is not MY community it is OUR community, and when you join Pink Coral, there isn’t a bigger programme waiting for you. There isn’t something else I’m trying to sell you.

Pink Coral is my only business and my passion. And our members experience is my focus and priority.

My job is to spotlight you and your business and connect you to other women, not get you closer to me. To help you build real relationships, find genuine opportunities, and feel supported in a way that actually works for you, your business, and your life.

We have loads of members who’ve grown their businesses here. Found new clients. Found collaborators. Found trusted people to buy from. We have members who’ve found business besties to walk dogs with, grab coffee with, and untangle thoughts with someone who speaks the same language. We have members who finally don’t feel like they’re doing this on their own.

You’re not a lead in a funnel here. You’re part of our community. A real one. You’re a Coral 🪸

And that’s the whole point.

Nikki 🪸